Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer is not funny any more. It was funny for one week in 1985. It's not funny now, no matter who sings it. Just sayin'.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
In 1985 I got a job working at the Hardee's fast food place in Destin, Florida. It was my job to clean out the freezer every night and various odd jobs. My supervisor was Dennis, and for some reason he disliked me from day 1. When things got busy and buses pulled up through the drive-thru, he'd put me on sandwich production. The only problem was that sandwich production was never supposed to be my job so nobody ever trained me on how to make the sandwiches. Every time I asked Dennis how anything was supposed to be made, he'd get mad at me and wouldn't tell me, so basically I just slopped a dozen or so sandwiches together at the time and got every order wrong. I quit a few weeks after I got hired because of Dennis. Yes, some people can really suck.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Monday, March 25, 2013
In 1985 I smoked my first joint. It was over at a friend's house. Me, he and his brother were smoking a joint while hanging out the second floor bathroom window. Below us was his mother's master bedroom suite. While we were smoking pot, she was in her bed watching "Gone With The Wind" (I'm not making this up, people). The above video is from "That '70s Show", where the adults just got high eating Hyde's pot brownies. I laughed my ass off when I first saw it. I don't smoke pot any more, but I loved it back then.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Thursday, February 28, 2013
From a 1987 marketing campaign for Domino's Pizza. To this day I have no idea what he's supposed to be, or what "Noid" stands for. The last pic's a bendable rubber toy figure that they sold. I had one (I believe it cost me about 5 bucks), but frankly it was so ugly I didn't keep it for long.
In the early '80s I wanted a boombox, but wasn't old enough to buy one for myself (not having a job), and my folks thought they were too expensive and said "no". I thought people looked really cool walking around with massive boom boxes on their shoulders, but in retrospect I realize that only black guys could pull that look off. White guys walking around with boomboxes on their shoulders just kind of looked like white guys wanting to look black..
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Friday, February 8, 2013
Back when Halloween II came out, my father was living in Tennessee. He and my stepmother came to Massachusetts for a visit, and they brought along some 17 year old kid (I think he was related to my stepmother). Dad dropped us both off at the movies, and we wanted to see Halloween II, but we were under age. He was disappointed but I turned to him and said quietly "Don't worry, I'll get us in." We paid to see some lame rated-G movie, and once the movie previews started and the ushers went back into the lobby, I said "follow me". We snuck out and went into the screen room where Halloween II was playing, and we watched the movie. It was a trick that worked every time.
I think I was the only one on the planet, but one of the movies I liked least was "E.T". I thought E.T. was ugly, and I hated Reese's Pieces. Maybe it's because there was so much hype about the movie, that when I actually went to see it, it was kind of a let-down.
In the mid-'80s, Molly Ringwald was the queen. She wasn't a knockout beauty, but she was girl-next-door-pretty and had a certain charm about her. We could identify with Molly, and she seemed like someone we'd all want to hang around with. '86 was definitely her year, because she also made the cover of Time Magazine in May (I thought she'd made the cover of "People", but I couldn't find any results in my image search). Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club have always been two of my all-time faves. I guess she's not acting any more, but back in the day it seemed like she'd always be around. I really miss her.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Saturday, January 26, 2013
... but our maid, who was from Australia, used to wear a green sports bra. Over her blouse. When I asked her why, she said "It makes me look like Madonna". And to clean the mirrors in all the units she'd use Murphy's Oil Soap. And when we told her to stop using Oil Soap on the mirrors she told us basically to "mind our own business"...
In the summer of '88 and '89, myself and my buddy were managing the Fore 'N Aft motel in North Truro Massachusetts on Beach Point. The property consisted of 11 motel rooms and 4 beach side cottages. Above is the Joel Meyerowitz photograph entitled "Doorway To The Sea". It was the breezeway between rooms 18 and 17. On the left of the inside of the breezeway was the doorway into the linen closet for the maid which had all the linens, bathroom supplies, etc. In '88, a family had rented cottage 4 (which was right on Cape Cod bay. You couldn't have gotten closer to the water) for a week starting the 4th of July weekend. Everything was booked. The woman arrived around 11 a.m. and looked at the cottage long enough to use the bathroom, and then walked into the office to tell me the accommodations weren't to her liking, and demanded a full refund. I knew I could rent the unit again in 15 minutes (which I did), and I knew that nothing else was available in all of Cape Cod, and I knew that if I tried to convince her to stay she'd just think I was trying to keep her money, so I gave her a full refund and let her leave. Around 6:00 that night, she came back (very haggard looking) and asked if I still had the unit available. I had rented the unit 15 minutes after she left and I told her "I'm sorry but I have nothing else available". As soon as I said that a woman came out of the unit she had booked with a plate of hamburgers, and the family that had rented the unit was sitting down to a barbecue dinner on the beach to watch the sunset. She had to leave and find other accommodations. I really enjoyed that.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
In 1984, when I was 16, I moved to Destin Florida. I lived there for 2 years until I graduated high school then moved back to Massachusetts. "Panama Jack" was a hugely popular brand in Florida (I don't know if it caught on in Mass.). There was Panama Jack suntan oil, sunscreen, aloe gel, beach towels, T-shirts, sunglasses, hats.... anything they could slap a logo on. The guy was everywhere, you couldn't get away from him...
Back in the day I had a huge crush on Cyndi Lauper. She was my favorite artist back then. I'd never seen anyone with their hair dyed orange and half their head shaved into a checkerboard design. I thought she was so cool. I'm not sure if she had any hits in the '90s, but in the mid-'80s that girl could do no wrong.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Saw this in '85, twice at the theater. I've seen it a couple of times on TV. I never get tired of this movie. One of my favorite scenes was when he traveled back in time and found himself in the barn, and the farmer thought he was an alien and started shooting at him with a shotgun. I laughed my @$$ off. In the early to mid-'80s, Michael J. Fox could do no wrong. Everything he did was great (well, except for "Teen Wolf". That really sucked).
I had tons of stuff, but you can't have everything. One of those things was the hand-held Pac Man game. I asked for it for Christmas (probably '82), but my folks said "no". I was really disappointed, so they decided to make up for it a couple of years later when Pac Man was available for the Atari video game system, so they got me that instead. Boy did I get screwed...